I could use some help here.
Beta readers are going over my new book – The Mark of the Spider: A Black Orchid Chronicle – and I’ve started working on the pitch materials.
Not to put too fine a point on the immediate challenge, I have to reduce a 529-page manuscript to one line or one sentence. Think of the short descriptions on best seller lists:
An American expatriate meets a former lover, with unforeseen complications. (Casablanca)
Two imprisoned men bond over a number of years, finding solace and eventual redemption through acts of common decency. (Shawshank Redemption)
That sort of thing.
So, how about some feedback? In the samples below, which one would move you to buy or read the book?
A. Photographer cursed with the power to kill with his thoughts.
B. Photographer cursed with the power to “think” people to death.
A. An ancient spider demon curses a photographer, giving him the power to kill with his thoughts.
B. An ancient spider demon curses a photographer, giving him power to kill with his thoughts but no control over the power.
Now pick one: Sample 1 or Sample 2. Discuss. (Sorry. I had a flashback to my days at Campion Jesuit High School.)
Let’s try that with something a little longer. Which of these three moves you?
An ancient spider demon possesses nature photographer Sebastian Arnett, giving him the power to kill without touching, but Sebastian does not always control his lethal new powers.
A photo assignment in the highland jungles of Borneo turns deadly when headhunters lure victims with tales of a mythical black orchid. One survives but is cursed with the ability to kill with his thoughts, a power he does not control.
Sebastian Arnett doesn’t believe in demons, but one believes in him. And it curses him with the power to kill with his thoughts.
I’ll post the results in a week or so. I need reaction from at least 11 people, so get right on this. Tnx.
BTW, if you don’t want to leave a comment, send me an email.