Agents Behaving Badly

Every writer wants an agent. Someone to take their cause, fight their fight, make them money. (Let’s be real here, people.)

Well, probably almost every writer, given that e-publishing allows writers to become their own publishers.

Maybe perhaps a lot of writers want an agent, because all the big writers have them.

All right, already, I want an agent. I need a tutor in publishing and book marketing, a mentor in the business of selling fiction.

So thank you very much, James Scott Bell, for your piece on The Kill Zone blog about Agents Behaving Badly.

Dousing oneself in ice water appears all the rage these days.

I just wish I had an agent to wonder about.

BTW, Bell’s piece should be mandatory for all writers seeking an agent. It’s a business, people, not just art.

Compound-Complex Confession

I confess.

I have committed a sin graver than enjoying the whale descriptions in Moby Dick.

Black and white painting of Cooper

James Fennimore Cooper by Brady (Wikipedia)

I like like James Fennimore Cooper.

No, it’s more than liking. I love and admire his style and diction, especially his mastery of the compound-complex sentence.

Now I believe I have found his modern day equal in the recently deceased Iain Banks, author of the Culture series of sci-fi philosophical novels as well as the masterful Wasp Factory.

I came upon the following paragraph on page 36 (hard copy) of his 1997 A Song of Stone:

I saw so many dances here. Each hall brought everyone of note from counties upon counties away; from each great house, from each plump farm, from over the wooded hills around and across that fertile plain they came, like iron filings to a magnet drawn; sclerotic grandees, rod-backed matrons, amiable buffoons ruddily ho-hoing, indulgent city relations down for a little country air or to kill for sport or find a spouse, beaming boys with faces polished as their shoes, cynical graduates come to sneer and feast, poised observers of the social scene cutting their drinks with the barbed remarks, dough-fresh country youths with invitations clutched, new blossomed maidens half embarrassed, half proud of their emergent allure; politicians, priests and the brave fighting men; the old money, the new money, the once-monied, the titled and the expleted, the fawn-shy and just the fawning, the well matured and the spoiled … the castle has room for them all.

I have been to that ball (and never been to any other).

Find me a two-sentence paragraph that describes more fully and yet so succinctly, that offers “plump farms,” “the fawn-shy and just the fawning” and “new blossomed maidens half embarrassed, half proud of their emergent allure.”

I do not hope to write so well, but I can certainly admire better than most.

After all, I like James Fennimore Cooper.

Mysteries vs. Thrillers

As I sat through session after session at ThrillerFest 2014 last month, I wondered how to tell the genres apart.

Then someone cited Jeffery Deaver’s formula (paraphrased):

A mystery is about what happened; a thriller is about what is going to happen.

I rather like that.